sociopath revenge after a breakup

Always, always he had a string of women he kept in touch with, had lunch with, met women for the first time and ask their status, and claimed he had business lunches and would end with kissing women who the hell kisses men on business lunches???? If a good friend told this story what would you advise her to do? Each time believing his excuses while his behavior escalated. He abused me horribly. Have 31/2 yr old daughter her mothers 5th child 5th farher 7 marriages baker acted 6 times lost custody of two children and my 3 1/2 is in the system now . My story is very similar to yoursexcept my soc is not a professional, but a common criminal. You did the right thing ending it, have nothing more to do with him. I feel a little sociopathic myself, but I am glad that I pulled it off without getting burned, or having him come after me. My ex, bi polar 1 diagnosed, PTSD, and so on. Now, with no contact at allit makes it tough for him. I too am sad for your situation with your daughter, but also at the same time, something beautiful has been created out of an awful situation. Nothing. Try the same exercise, but address a letter to each one of your feelings instead. Which is important. I contacted him at a number I was able to get and she anwsered I asked to speak with my fianc she laughed. He claims to be a loving father but had to be taken to court for child support. People that know me sensed something about him, I feel stupid now. I know in my case all the sociopath thought is how annoyed she is I didnt give her certain things I bought her back or a little money she paid towards a holiday which I lost loads on. I too am one. is when there was something in it for him. Last time i got dumped (which we eventually will be when being with a sociopath) i fell into an emotional abyss. How to get your feelings out, without breaking No Contact! Never once have you said anything other than anything deceitful. Ruining, smear campaigns and third party abuse! You are left with a feeling of disbelief, you need to understand why? Some people have trouble swimming, some people have trouble reading, and some people have trouble loving. It can feel so painful, that not only were you abused in the relationship, but additionally if you expect closure from the sociopath, you are allowing him to abuse you further (and he will). People do not matter to them unless they can con you out of something. Anyway we decided to get married( dump part on my side) and my parents had paid for everything being a huge wedding it cost my parents alot and just 7 days before he had a fight with me for reasons I still dont know and cancelled. I want to learn how I can let go of the past and accept it for what it was and forget it ever happened. Even though we know they are very evil people with an antisocial personality disorder that is untreatable, we still have to deprogram our minds from their sickness. I figured he was going to be in my life forever and did not care if he wanted to show his affection so I thought. He even used my son as an object in his game with me, but my son saw through him early and absolutely loathes him. The legal route is the only way I think. That meant coupling self-care (sup hot baths?) he left me with no remorse, reacts to the breakup with such malice, contempt and hostility but what i dont understand is why when he was the one who left me. But for most of society, these mentally disturbed members walk amongst us, work with us, shop with us, maybe even are our physicians. I am also a single mom of two kids. Also for this to happen to you so young in life. She has wedding registrys set up. I know people say, you must learn to forgive. The third paragraph is what I applied in order to get MR to find a new target, and when I found female hairs in his bed and on him after he just told me he wished I was moving in with him is when I knew he had hooked someone else. The term for . I even felt like he changed his number because hes going to change for her and shes the lucky one but this is ridiculous thinking especially since he has this deceitful womanizing pattern. Then there was the girl he cheated on with his ex wife whom he got pregnant. I am thankful to my family and friends as without their constant reassurance and support it would be impossible to let go. While a text from my father about a new dating website had me Googling patricide laws, I quickly discovered there are other ways to feel alive that didnt involve belly flopping my way back into the dating pool. I actually think physical abuse would have been easier to recover from than this. If you had dated the distempered sociopath (who is openly more narcissistic and emotionally abusive), your head has been clouded within the relationship. Youll be surprised at how clear things can become once youve separated it all out. The first doesnt let him see the children and has no contact with him at all ( I would love to speak to her and get the REAL story) he blames his behaviour on this woman. Well he would say that he would give you answers. But he doesnt. Sociopathic abuse is often covert abuse. Run for the hills I say. Giving everything I have left to stop all communication ! Will stone wall you. Its like I meant nothing. Ok so I experienced a lot of what everyone else has been saying. He could just be scared of commitment after his last marriage? If you have kids with them I say let a friend/family member be there when he is collecting the children instead of you. That each of them only had a fragment of me. Our intimacy was fantastic as he said, and the best ever. I was thinking about the damage limitation and minimising the stress for you. He might not want you anymore, and might even have a new source for supply. I just want to know why he did what he did? They will go on the attack when they see you are done with them. will write more when time. Just like when we were in a relationship he still has the control to change my mood so quickly. Some days I want to just tell him to keep everything,all I want back is my parents things,photos etc. Answer (1 of 10): The answer is simple. My friends saw through the game and so did my sons high school friends, they all told me to get away from him. Because of the pain knowing he is with someone else over these holidays, laughing, partying, holding each other while I am alone with my son and sad. (Living well is the best revenge, right?) I am going through the same thing, but have chosen the baby name, in fact have a three month old who has listened to his fathers rantings from the day he was born. http://www.naturalnews.com/036112_sociopaths_cults_influence.html, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3O3ZQPezglQ. In that last Saturdays email he explained that those feeling werent as resolved as he thought, that he needs a peace of mind and solitude, be alone to deal with it and cannot be in a relationship but he need to heal. Thank you for sharing your story. Hes going mad calling me and following me around. He came to the baby shower but went to jail 2 months after my child was born. Most of us are unaware that we've been deceived until it is too late. Told me once I take up oxygen and I should shoot myself in the head. Things progressed on but after about 4 months something just didnt feel right. Hed mentioned all these things early on like going on a cruise going different places but none of it happened!! I was new in town, a single mom, educated, classy, a bit standoffish which made his hunt exciting, then he went in for the kill. Be glad they are gone. He ended it!!! No more! Sounds like you have been through so much with him, am just pleased that you have genuine people around to love and support you! The Badd man is like an addiction crazy stuff! It wasnt my fault that he simply wasnt worth my affections or that I got hurt. They like to feel in control and to have dominance and power over another. I met a guy/doctor, 34yo online a month ago. You have seen through lies. Eventually I was having a baby, and as the house needed repair, I decided to sell for a financial loss just to get rid of the house, so that I could have a warm home for my child. He isnt going to change. The Hook represents control over their victim and then the victim becomes their controlled puppet. And the story continues after moving on after a year in a half I ended up going on vacation to an event I. You know what? He smears my reputation and Im still empathic ! Your email address will not be published. Until I saw his true colours. I then decided to keep the child he was fighting another case at the time and suggested to everyone that my child was not his. Ive just read loads of your articles its amazing pretty much everything I read happened to me. Or even better (and safer), pour your heart out into a written letter then destroy it by any means necessary. Hey Blondie, this is a sign of a true empath. Yep like I always do! My socio became like a robot with its wiring all wet and he sputtered and flickered. A research study showed that narcissists and psychopaths tend to stay friends with their ex for selfish reasons. The last time I seen him we both really didnt look at each other. I keep each of my trophies on the hook with occasional love letters, complimenting the traits they most hate (usually flabby arms), lying and cheating. They do seek closure. Hes still being nice and love bombing to me I have no reason to just break up with him without pissing him off. Not to forget that ending a relationship which fulfilled his secret dreams (citing his words) by email, from one hour to another, doesnt belong to the world of adults. if they give us a true answer for why they left then they would have to admit what they are. She might even think that she can change. I DO have feelings, and I want to give at least one person a decent boyfriend. Hi, my relationship didnt last very long to be honest about 6 weeks. It is impossible to make sense of nonsense. I am so sorry that you lost your baby too. Eventually we will have a treatment for his condition, but right now we have to live with the monsters in the darkness. If this is what it feels like to be a sociopath, their highs are amazing. So.there is no angle that he has with me. (Confusion, Sadness, and Anger were all recipients of my rambling.) I have 3 children that I support and I will not give him the pleasure to leave me pennyless, cause that what he wants. She got a couple million out of the deal, so she is happy! Right now, with your life in tatters, you probably feel like "living well" is an impossible dream. I met someone in June,taking it slow,as Im worried. It was awful, and I developed PTSD, but I also knew it was for my own good to be set free. Now Im convinced hes a full blown sociopath or psychopath with all the textbook traits. How sick! In hell, is more like it, we have 2 children, and $100,000s of debt, attorneys fees etc. This is where i struggle in my healing!!!! I can evolve into a more mature person, but people dont change!!! The pain that I feel is real everyday and some days worse than others. When I started doing this, I was shocked how many friends had experienced emotional abuse in some form at the hands of relatives, significant others, and employers. Get a good lawyer. I guess that would depend how much your mortgage is? Some will write it off as just a bad breakup, or an over-reaction on your part. But you can treat you good. He had a heart attack and I saved his life then took care if him. Calling me names , belittling me and berating me. Wellnever ever let insane people like this come into our lives again. He made me feel special, saying I am unique, amazing and what more could he want if not me. Normal people get ptsd. What you hold onto is what ties you, if you can, just let it go. He has gotten almost my entire savings of $6,000 . I wanted to see the insanity. Oh yeah, the closest thing that I got to the truth from him was that he thought he could have his cake and eat it too. Im not sure if hes born with it or made by a traumatic childhood. Narcissists are very vain and selfish. Of course I gave my whole self; mind, body, and soul to this guy. You will never get closure from the sociopath. Are these women other sociopaths too? They try to stay in your life or seduce and convince you to return. Theyre here to help you sort out your feelings in a no-pressure, no-judgment setting. They will pretend that they have every intention of giving you closure, keeping you hanging on. We want to understand what has happened to us, and why. WIll say anything to get what they want. @positivegirl I have removed myself from his life. I have list so much but I do take responsibility for alot of what I allowed to happen. We must know boundaries. And just in case you havent heard it Ill be the first to say it: What happened to you was not normal, and no matter what irrational extremes youve been pushed to, its not your fault. I have no idea what made me follow him that day but I am so glad I did as that is the day I caught with a prostitute and ofcourse this surely wasnt his first or last time either. Called me every name u can think of and then cries bc he has nobody who cares. It has either been a partial truth or a flat out lie. But its not your fault if you dont wake up ready to take over the world without so much as a twinge of pain after that deadline. I dont know how I got with him properly or how he convinced me of this loving connection that we had. When we met, he convinced me he has all emotional problems sorted out, he is calm about it and ready for another relationship. I saw her pictures on FB and she is a happy woman who has been with the same man for years and is seen in her mans arms in all photos and the great trips they have had together. with introspection. Asking for help. I told him that I knew his game and he sent me a picture of my boobs and said they were disgusting. I did so sorry. and then Trust me, you dont know me anymore. Worst texts I could have gotten. He had left his wife of 25 years for his step-sister!!! Don't feel jealous when he moves onto someone new! The thinking behind this is so that you would end the relationship, saving the sociopath the need to do so. Talking to a professional psychiatrist or counselor can also be helpful. Set up and establish no contact and stick to it. He posted pictures with him and another girl with her boobs hanging out 20 years younger than me. I feel so betrayed. I did send him an email last week and he did not answer. I will never allow him the opportunity to put me in a place of vulnerability again. 4 They May Attack You Or Your Property. I am going through this now with my ex. He would position himself so he could stare at them, but still look at me. I have seen him a couple times and he will make eye contact with me. He asked what plans I said then started a row when I told him none of his business. I thought to myself, its a little too much but I gave in and went out with him. Sure, he hops around as I have found out now that it is over. they fear facing the truth so much they have to run and hide when confronted. Anyway now I look back my life was filled with terror. Yes, the same man that supposedly abused him terribly as a young boy. I did similar..yes when you do it back, you realise just how it feels to be them, Omg you are so Awesom Ive been dealing with a sociopath for the last 10 years of my life. I never knew such things existed..I was with my boyfriend for 9 years, since I was 16. In that moment he started to have problems with his erection for several times but it sorted itself out in the end. I loved him and he supposedly loved me too ahahahaha! Before we completely stopped talking a week ago, he said that he knew that we could not move forward unless I had my questions answered after five months (like I want to move forward). at this point he raped me and tried to keep me in his life.he was very abusive physically and mentally to a point where I thought I deserved it. Last year, I broke up with a guy who I thought was amazing, but turned out to check every box on Dr. Hares checklist, a tool commonly used to diagnose sociopathy. While I was there, my narcissistic ex-wife started a smear campaign telling everyone that I. The worst argument we had where he would repeat accusations and tell me hed f&@5ing someone else telling me I was useless but used to repeat himself over and over, I always ended up defending myself or worse crying which he thrived on. I could go on but I wont. Its been three months with 2 and a half no contact, but he hasnt tried to contact me at all. It meant everything to me, probably because I had not been with a man in years and I thought it was beautiful. Maybe if it wasnt for me fighting for whats rightly mine,Id have just gave up. Now he is slandering my name to his babys mother telling her that I will never stop wanting him and that i probably havent fd anyone since him and i probably sit at home and masturbate to his pictures. Disappear until something bad happened an he needed my help. He doesnt deserve it. The sociopath thrives on having control over his victims. Im barely better a month later and just want it to be over. My mom has also suffered from his trauma so it really has effected our relationship. He was shocked when he saw me his face dropped and he was so upset like I just ruined his whole day. He is still in my life through mind games and the contact with our daughter but has recently acquired a new younger victim which he delighted in telling me about and where he took her in their first date. Presently, I am working very hard to regain myself, writing this finally after spending two months of reading all of your comments is somehow helping me. That we were laughing and so happy and in love one day (although I was questioning heaps because of all my red flags) and then cruely discarded with no explanation the next and then to nothing, no communication, was horrendous. you also deserve real love one day when your healing is done! Never look on FB-it breaks no contact. I now know that love dont hurt and to not pay attention to what people say but what they do. Omg I had the same situation I continued ivf alone. He told his childrens mother if she want him to spend more time with their two sons then she should lower his payment so he wont havent to work so many hours and have more time for them. And then I read more. The sociopath really does believe that everything is everyone elses fault, and always shifts the blame. We were just to good to them . They were two more cheaters and liars. Not been giving any closure at all as you all know! In time, you will find love and peace. The last two months as I was figuring him out he dropped hints to me that he was mentally disturbed. But you know, although I lost all that money (I sold at end of 09 when prices were crashing) and now I am in rented and prices are through the roof. Later as I was reading all the material on the Internet about the socio/psychopath characteristics (and he is both) I learned when the honeymoon stage fades the sociopath becomes a more serious preditor and gets ready for his next Girlfriend Victim who is the woman who is in the forefront that he parades around. They do not think that they have done anything wrong, In their own mind, they would prefer to shift the blame onto you, If you take them back, you will still not get closure, because they have by now put on a new mask, They have a sense of entitlement that they can behave in that way, Call up your old friends and family, try to find people that you trust, Alternatively (or additionally), try to find victim support forums (there are a lot of them around, email me about this if you wish), Realise that just as the relationship with the sociopath was a journey, so will the ending be, You will get closure, but not from the sociopath. How To Heal After Breaking Up With A Sociopath by Marie Noble Jan. 9, 2017 Last year, I broke up with a guy who I thought was amazing, but turned out to check every box on Dr. Hare's checklist, a. He hasnt approached me, but I have seen him, and others have notified me that they have seen him. Remember, they view their hooked victims as stupid, the ones that get away (out of the web) they see as smart. Manipulation. Just look at them as what they really are. With effort you can. That socio did a number to my mind. What actions could I take to shake off the extended period of lies and confusions and regain my sense of self? I want him to break up with me because Im afraid of what he can do if I dump him and he gets mad at me. The two of them continued their relationship after his divorce, she must have been a minor when it began. I fell hard for him. I see he gets whatever he can for free and will only work part time. Is there ANY way to be a normal person? What It's Like To Break Up With A Sociopath. Do you know why I didnt want to know what he had to say? Do you think he is definitely a sociopath? ive just broken up with my sociopath after 3 years. These women had to have known he had a girlfriend. Without Love who are we? People change their minds. I was surprised in mall with champagne bottles and balloons him coming from Another state to where I was at to get me back went on shopping sprees, he bought me a car one time when I left and I had it shipped to seat he was At. He told me his girlfriends dont last long I asked him why he said he gets bored and walks. I only served a purpose for his supply. He/she will also be getting the psychological mind-*&^% of their lives, be disregarded (ever had the soc ignore or neglect you when you were sick, or during a holiday? A sociopath is never going to give that to you. That he doesnt need to pretend anything while being with me, he can be natural, himself. she wasnt. I look younger than him and at first meeting him I was not attracted to him, his conning and manipulation is what lured me into his sickness. . The pain and memories hopefully will subside, but will never go away. The socio lied and spreads this about her. I look back now and I say to myself how did I not listen to my inner gut instinctshow could I have been so naive to his lies and schemes. Perhaps whoever originally said it hundreds of years ago knew about sociopaths. I realized couple of years back that my life time of trauma, anxiety, fear over 35 years, was the outcome of a sociopath mother. Risk-taking. I guess that means that I am starting to accept reality. To cut a long story short he walked out on me when I confronted him on a lie he just said its been nice knowing you and ran out the door. Thinking back I always had that feeling about the two of them, and I could never figure out why she hated me so much. My story in short. The signs were there but I thought he was different so I overlooked them. It wont always be easy I remember the dismay of going to see a movie and realizing I didnt remember any of it and I had chewed off all the nails on my left hand during my two hours in the dark. 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