unhealthy relationship with pets

At first I had to fight to sit by my husband. But they always had strict boundaries, training and manners. The thing is that you have tried all the options and I respect that but clearly there is something very wrong with him and getting a dog sitter everytime you leave the house is giving into a tantrum. when the dog died which really upset me as i am a massive dog lover but he replaced him with another male even though i cannot deal with marking in the house and every darn thing in the garden covered with weewee , i have ferrets in a large shed and run but we have a gate infront of them or the dog will wee on them so he wees on the lock instead so i have to open that go indoors wash my hands before i can get a cuddle of my ferrets . Practice Management Software for Therapists, Rules and Ethics of Online Therapy for Therapists, How to Send Appointment Reminders that Work, https://www.goodtherapy.org/in-crisis.html. Everything was going great while it was just my girlfriend, her dog and myself. Over the years Ive taken in three rescues that i got as puppies. Really his anger and frustration did not match the act. Most importantly, never sell yourself short and allow yourself to be second best. Then suddenly, he brings he dog to the new house!! What do I do? I think my jaw dropped when I read this because I thought I might have written it in my sleep! Now, Im an animal lover but more into cats or small dogsyou can pick them up and they dont drool! BTW I dont see them as Pets more like my children considering I had miscarriages and stuff and they keep me happy. She is wrong to suggest someone who isnt capable of living on his own have a pet to help him. me and my ex fiance have been together 14 yrs. Also, it will become difficult for you when your baby arrives and I fear the dog will really be mistreated. I think that many of us tend to believe that people can get better overtime, not worse, so it is hard to see everything coming in the middle of a fog. I was never able to spoon with my husband or cuddle, since he would be spooning with one of the dogs. Once you figure that out the fight wont exist. The dog issues certainly are draining you of your time (and your sleep!). Yet most of the time something will always get in the way. This dog is seriously ruining my life. Its been 6 weeks now, and I still sob. He has let his own life turmoil set the behavior of this dog. That part has changed as he literally broke us financially. Its hard living with so much spite towards my little ones. My bf refuses to train them, and it has worsened the quality of my life. She would take that as how much people LOVE bulldogs but realistically, she dressed them up in clothes as we walked! Now I ask you this, if you had to hold your poss for 10 or 12 hours at night, would you not have an occasional accident? He then said have you still got a problem with the dogs, i said yeah, Im tired of the smell in the house no matter how much dettol we use, it gets me depressed. No way. My kids and I have had our pet for 5 years his dog is about 8 months old and cat about 7 months and he expects me to put my dog out side!! (By any chance, is your dog a poodle mix? Dog is his bbf, his baby. Im thinking about giving him away just because I want him to get treated better than this.. Is this wrong to give up my loved dog for her? Our kids have moved out now that they are older so since the bedrooms upstairs are free, my wife has turned one of them into the dogs bathroom. Its just unreal. We love our dog, but we do NOT treat him like a human child because hes not one. Finally one of my plates was chipped and I ask him to stop and he started using paper plates. My DH would tell me I was selfish. Dogs shouldnt be kept in cruelty but neither should humans or your children for you dogs sake. Their breath smells likelike rotting roadkill. Its to the point where if he does not get rid of her room, I am going to leave him. Even just a Bachelor party ten minutes from your place? Now, we are back to this point where I have been bit by this dog now twice, she doesnt listen to me what so ever, refuses to eat unless its my wife who feeds her and Im nowhere around, is right there by my wifes side no matter what if shes not outside on her chain. Your health is number 1! Not surprisingly, I make mistakes, and I was shocked to learn that some of them were actually harming my relationship with my pets. by the second day she barely barked. Am I wrong for wanting him to get rid of it? Made him think about the entirety of this situation as well. I went back two days later and retrieved them. Hes very protective of our 2 kids, so we are fortunate for that. According to her he also gets, cold all the time, so he wants to go under the covers. I said screw it at one point and kicked him out of the room and shut the door on him. He thinks his dog is just fine. She has a female dog and I have a male dog. He just doesnt get it, he cant understand the appeal and only focuses on the stuff he hatesthe smell of cat food or a litter tray that has just been used, even though both items were in the utility room and our house is clean. He doesnt allow them in anymore and it KILLS ME. Its been a battle since that day 4 years ago. Is asking him to find him the dog a new home too much? That wasnt good enough, he wanted him out of the bedroom. Im sick to death of dealing with this dog and am even growing resentment to my husband. I even had my dignity as a woman taken away from me at one point when my husband was ill and I walked into the living room to find the dog laying with her back against the couch and him laying on the floor facing her placing her rear legs on his side. The last big fight we had that almost ended our marriage was me telling her she didnt have to take the dog with her everywhere, and needed to get the dog used to being at home by herself so whenever we are both working outside of the home, the dog is not going through separation anxiety. I dont care. She does not come, she does not stay, she makes it impossible to bring her in and out. The dog has to constantly be in his lap, and he is always calling for it. Which is why it is so incredibly important that you treat your partner with the love and respect that they deserve. It stresses me out so much and I feel so much resentment and bitterness that my feelings arent taken into consideration. Our carpets smelled fresh and the general filth level in our home dramatically decreased. uh yeah right. Itll be soooooooo much worse than it is now and youll wish you hadnt. They dont love like humans and its unhealthy for both dog and owner to be apart of that carp. There are plenty of pet owners that have beautifully trained dogs. For example, just the other night he calls her to come back 9 times and then says good girl. I enjoy cuddling with him. Why? He obviously has no respect for me. I have a medium size dog, 2 & half year old, who has always slept in bed with me. Agree. She allows no kissing during this time. I left him alone with my little dog and strangely he was hunched over and in a lot of pain. He yelled at me when I was tired and my feet where swollen because I didnt buy the dog food when she still had some left. Im an elctrician and have loads contact with people, but am completely trapped have no freinds as my wife was always number one, only moved to australia 5 years ago and in big trouble emotionaly wise. I guess 20 years was long enough for us, and I have had ducks, turtles, cats, fish, and a monitor (big lizard) all without his blessing and he let me do it, not because it made him happy but because it made me happy. I dont know. And if we just walk to the kitchen its constant begging. If you call it barking. If you want to be with him youll have to compromise and so will he with regular baths, air fresheners, daily vacuum sessions even though it seems pointless, and boundaries until the dog is passes on. But it is. The problem is that people who love dogs can not fathom why there are people who dont like them. I feel selfish if i ask that he takes the cat back to the shelter. I recently started dating a man who says that my dog is a demanding monster. , i love all of our dogs i dont want none too go away! He got housebroken and crate trained very quickly, and we taught him quite a few commands. We both work hard and long hours, so a dog has never been an option, I love cats, but would settle for a rabbit or Guinea pig, but even this is met with an absolute no. I only know that she had gotten this dog with her ex bf. Also, perhaps its not even necessarily your dog that he is annoyed by, but the way you are *treating* your dog. Dont judge. If my husband uses a softer tone of voice the dog us obediant. Instead, they are treated like humans and encouraged to develop unhealthy attachments to the owner. Later I said, hed save me and blame me for the dog dying. I dont have children and they have filled that void in my life. He wont go on vacation because she doesnt like being boarded! What magical power does he possess over you? I have always simply assumed one day I would have a dog of my own, as dogs have always been a big part of my life. You are so right Pip. Basically, neither of our loved ones have the ability to set up boundaries for their dogs. I refuse to allow some brat of an animal ruin things that I have worked hard and paid for. I tried talking to her and proposed putting my two dogs outside and not letting them inside but she said no without hesitating. As it turned out we remained together and now I find myself unemployed having to move out and having to find a job as soon as possible as an immigrant in a country that has the worst rates of employment for immigrants in the whole Europe. We only have one vehicle which is mine but we just moved and are trying to get caught up money wise (he makes more) so I said I would stay home until we can get another vehicle. He is not used to being yelled at all the time for not doing anything wrong and it is tearing me apart. Both 4 years and my wife has one who is 5. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Fortunately for her she sees the warning flags going up big time and I kennel my dog to punish hIm but my boyfriend is so hateful towards him and its making me resent him. She cannot go anywhere in the home without hair going everywhere. So, there is no need to change. Thanks for positive feedback anyone and negative feedback thank you as well. She would look at him and then get off the couch and go up a set of steps he made to their bed. They were very terrified. Clearly youve never discussed the ins and outs of the Presidential campaign with your dog and honestly, I feel sorry for you. Besides my allergies, Ive always thought dogs were kinda stupid and boring and burdensome . So Im resentful that I cant have those cuddly mornings with my bf any more. Later on that day we had a minor argument i cannot remember what it was about, it would have been really trivial. Fortunately he does and so the worst thing that happens is a few flecks of grey showing up on black clothes! Once I trained him after s few months, fast forward to 5 years. Your SO really needs to put your needs first and either give the cat away to a good home or put it out as you mentioned. Hope you make a wise decision & whichever path you choose leads you to happiness. All similar to you except she got a second one to keep company of the first one! I am still sad but know it is for the best and that I would never be happy. The only place is the cage when we leave the house. I took him out last year in the summer time to go poop and pee and he ran off from me! I constantly took her outside so she wouldnt poop inside and rewarded her w/ w positive praise. He complains about the sounds it makes (eg when chewing a bone) or when he hears us speaking to it. Dog lovers can be incredibly obnoxious and many dont hesitate to passively aggressively force others family members of even total strangers to put up with their child, as they refer to the animals. I hate dogs. (Another reason they want to get rid of the dog they rescued from shelter.). Weve been going strong for a couple of years. When we were dating the cat lived at home with him. When he comes home he immediately starts playing & stroking the dogs showing his love. Normally, I should feel that i cant wait to have our own place, but not now. It is nice, and I dont dislike it, but the problem is the hair. It IS selfish to let the dog continue carrying out said behavior(s) if youre unwilling to take the time to get to the root of the problem. At first she was very welcomed and loved by me and my sons. His wife was disgusted because she said that the dog should have stayed on the ground while they ate and now the next person that comes in will be sitting and eating where a dog was? I cant trust the dog around our, and I cant trust my wife to do the right thing for her family. One thing that many dog lovers dont understand is that the emotional energy that they invest in their animals robs them of some of the emotional energy that is so vital and necessary between a married couple. For starters, chewing is something that pretty much all puppies do. I always treat both dogs equally, feed them, let them out, walk them, take them for a ride, play with them both at the same times. What happened to the vows you took when you married the person? He cant even use the bathroom w out her whining to come in. His bad habit is getting in the sink. I could never get a night sleep, because they would be jumping on and off the bed, start whining in the night, wanting to go out to pee in the middle of the night. Cats are manageable they manage themselves. Im done if this behavior continues. People generally want to feel happy, loving, secure, supported, and emotionally safe in their relationships. :( any advice? But its not the poor canines fault that the masses have chosen to objectify the loyal animal forgetting this is a living creature not a fad. Im getting so tipped to the edge about all of this i need help :( x. I am told that I am being stubborn and I am having to deal with cleaning up pee and poo from places around the house and that I am causing more problems than the dog is. If he would just put effort into training I know wed see a difference. Im not a dog and wont be treated like that. People so often posit their relationships with their pets on nothing beyond feel good feelings they get from the pet being fully dependent upon them, when they would never accept that type of arrangement with another human being. And Im so sorry for all that youve gone through. These are reasons dogs arent allowed on furniture, especially the bed where you lay your head. Unless hes just being an ass, then maybe you should reconsider staying with your partner. It blows my mind how many people dump their pets for a bad relationship. Stay out of the kitchen when we are eating (would also want when we are cooking), stay off the couch and out of the bedroom. If he keeps jumping up maybe try a kennel at first. He said his reason is is that he doesnt make a big production out of it. My boyfriend refused to let me go over the issue of fur. Not enough to leave my future wife. I have problems with depression, chronic pain, etc. Gallery Openings? Everything revolves around this dog. Then he told me that he didnt like my dog sleeping in the bed. Yes we talked about it. these are sensitive subjects to bring up but i cannot live unhappily. So is trying to control a partner. And yes my partner is obsessed with his dog, what he eats, he cant havw treats, B12 and other injections have to be given to him, other medications, etc. He sees a dog and he looks SO happy. I call her the furry wife and thats exactly what she has been. God made man and woman to live together, what God has joined together, nobody can not separate, much less a useless dog. I ended up in the ER with puncture wounds bleeding all over. It sounds like your husband has not taken the needed time to properly train his dog. They are not humans, theyre animals. If you love nice clean things, Im sorry but you arent going to have that in the dog house so youll have to put that out of your mind until he/she passes and you dont get another. Research has consistently shown that social connections are critical for both mental and physical health. Hi Janet, That makes me wonder that this might not be the right guy for me. She sleeps with me, but I groom her and rmb s in her diet and weekly toothbrush she doesnt have bad breath or fart. Mind you my husband NEVER helps me with the dog. 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